It has almost been three years since I haven’t had school distracting me from life. In college, I was living my life the way I wanted, but I wasn’t observing the outside too much. I was focus on my bubble. My bubble was just what I saw and I didn’t over analyze most situations because I felt that it wasn’t place to do that, but now that I have more time on my hands, I have been researching and analyzing human behavior and my conclusion is that some people don’t face their parental issues.
Whether you were raised my both parents, one parent or other extended family members, we all have a little bit of parental issues, yet some have it worse than others. For example, I have a friend who has a problem of liking to help overly dramatic women that use him and that stems from his mom and grandmother always being loud and asking him for money. He has become a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no. I have asked him about confronting the issue, but he doesn’t want to come off as disrespectful.
I know another person; whose parents flip-flop emotions and calls her up for advice or help as if she is the mother and then judge heavily her when she does a simple thing they don’t agree with. Her siblings call her up for advice as well, but they are underage and her parents care more about arguing with each other than being there for her younger siblings. She moved away but she still hasn’t found peace from her family. She likes who she is, but her self-esteem can be low when interacting with other people. She doesn’t like exploring for fear of breaking a rule and has an issue of being a good girl from being call a bad kid often from her family. Yet, she is improving and has seen a therapist.
My mother raised me to tell her how I feel about her even if it hurts because she wants to be called on her bullshit if she is acting like a bad mom to me. My father was protective of me and we had an honest relationship up until he passed away. I loved my father dearly, but there were things about him that I didn’t like, and I have dated men with those qualities that I did not like. Those relationships were not healthy. Currently single and loving it because I’ve had time to reflect on negatives that I have accepted and using methods to avoid them again in my next relationship.
People with parental issues will have kids with parental issues until they let themselves face their issue head on and feel that pain. Pain can be useful. Cry, scream and let yourself feel for a while the hurt you have. You can either write it down and burn the letter or confront it head on. Understanding the other person can help in the forgiving process as well.
Parents should also not hide their hurt from their children and they should speak open about mental health issues that run in the family so their children are more prepared when they go into adulthood.
My sister has been battling depression and it was severe at one point. My mother told me about the level of depression that runs in my father’s side of the family. My sister and I don’t have the same mother, and it would have been nice if my father could have explained this to us but he was never much of a talker.
Overall your healing is about you more than anything else. Check out this video on opening your Chakras. It helps with unblocking negative energy in your body.
Yes, I know it is a children’s show, but it still has relevant points. Pause the video as often as you need.
Breathe, Cry, Exhale.
Your Cup of Candice 